The Cringiest Parenting Texts of the Week (December 12, 2023)

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Dec 12, 2023 12:00 PM EST

I am continually baffled by how some parents talk to their kids, particularly their daughters, about their bodies. I was lucky not to grow up in a household where my mom was constantly calling me fat, but I certainly knew some girls whose moms did exactly that. They are, what we digital natives call "almond moms.": According to ABC, "almond moms" are

"…mom[s] who is a little bit bought into diet culture. A little bit of an obsession with healthy eating, with her body image, with her daughter's body image. Maybe a little bit of an obsession with fitness. But it tends to veer on the side of overdoing it."

The almond mom community can be a precarious one to criticize because there will always be someone coming out of the woodwork to say, "Those moms have eating disorders! Why are you criticizing someone for having an eating disorder into their 40s and 50s." To that, I say it's one thing to have a disorder, but to know to give one to your child is pretty reprehensible. If you are used to getting this kind of feedback from your mother, these parenting texts might hit a bit too close to home. 

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  • 01
    Muffinman1111112 · 2d ● Got Covid for the first time and my mom somehow found out I was sick. Ugh SMS : ...
    via u/Muffinman1111112
  • 02
    T M Are you still feeling sick? Mom > Did you get tested for covid It's mostly just a sore throat + Ugh The tests are bs and they are filled with nanotechnology that alters your dna abs other toxins that will keep you sick ana actually give you covid... the shots are the same. Did you know Texas is suing Pfizer for harming Texans? Yeah I'm positive My first time I got a home test yesterday two days AFTER I started feeling sick. I haven't taken a test in over a year. Ugh... all of the tests are f
    via u/Muffinman1111112
  • 03
    < M Nope. Literally haven't been sick at all. Not even once since last November when I had the flu. How many times have you gone to any Dr this year? Surgeries this year? Mom > After I got all my endometriosis removed, I got a lot better. I'm not talking about just cold and flu Your gal bladder? + I'm telling you. I hadn't even been to the doctor. All of the other stuff I can't remember that they said you have That was removed with my endometriosis 2 years ago. Text Message I don't even take any
    via u/Muffinman1111112
  • 04
    Dynastic_Plot665 2d Omg. SMS :
    via u/Dynastic_Plot665
  • 05
    12:25 MMS 3:48 PM Ok now I should have service [8] Mom Read 4:23 PM 4:24 PM o I Sent as SMS via server 3:50 PM 10* Call me or I WILL COME OVER THERE DO MOT IGNOREY CALLS. YOU GOT 5 SEC@ Read critter cage I'm going to go haing out with I cleanest the ... 95% I saw. 3:50 PM 4:31 PM < ·||||.
    via u/Dynastic_Plot665
  • 06
    She then yelled at me because I was supposed to call her and tell her that I guess, I didn't know I was supposed to do that she thinks it's my fault that I didn't know I was supposed to call her. I did not have my phone on me (I was playing basketball) and I didn't have the ringer up, so she then got mad over that too.
    via u/Dynastic_Plot665
  • 07
    pinkpeonies-23 2d This is the first two months. SMS conversation we've had in ...
    via u/pinkpeonies-23
  • 08
    I have to find out from your brother that you're in town? Instead of you coming to me as an adult and having a conversation, you continue to avoid me and hide from any actual discussions. I am your mother, and I think the least I deserve is a heads up. Especially when you're here visiting my child and expecting him to keep it a secret from me. The last time we talked you got mad at me for trying to have a normal conversation with you. Instead of reflecting on why your daughter wasn't willing to
    via u/pinkpeonies-23
  • 09
    What exactly is there to fix? I have done nothing but try to be your mother since the moment you were born. I may not have done the job you think I could have done, but forgive me for not relying on the life experience of someone who has no idea what it is like to raise a child. You chose to keep a distance after the move. I never cut you off from me, you never put forth the effort to speak to your mother. What was I supposed to do with that? You say something is broken, and yet you aren't ackno
    via u/pinkpeonies-23
  • 10
    My genuine question at this point is what you expect to happen at the end of this. Seriously. Do you think we'll have a relationship in ten years? Do you think my future spouse will know you? What about my future children? In 20 years when you're wondering what the happened between you and your daughter, are you going to think back on moments like this and recognize what it is you've willingly done? If that's your choice, and if that's what you think, then I won't stop you. I know I did the best
    via u/pinkpeonies-23
  • 11
    For some context, I (21f) went to visit my little brother (18m), and I didn't tell my mother that I was going to be in town. I actually didn't stay for long (just a few days) bc little bro was the only reason I was there to begin with. I did tell him it was okay to be honest with her if she asked about where he was and who he was with. I didn't want him to lie for me and end up with a verbal lecture like the one I received in these screenshots lol. But yeah, she'll probably apologize in a few we
    via u/pinkpeonies-23
  • 12
    imjustdifrent 3d Parents take dog a week before my bf and I were supposed to adopt her, then tease us about it SMS
    via u/imjustdifrent
  • 13
    S D S You are missing out on a very loving, sweet, and gorgeous puppy. Her fur colors are very unique. Brown with black and gold swirls. You're too late. She's a part of this family now. y'all really gonna disrespect us by refusing to check in with me or before impulsively taking the dog you had already NAMED for yourselves, and now y'all wanna try and rub it in our faces?? That is so gross. Grow TF up. was just teasing you. She's great and we are good either way.
    via u/imjustdifrent
  • 14
    No, you're BOTH acting really . I had already discussed with your coworker that we would wait until NEXT week, wher. and I had had time to get everything we needed to before possibly welcoming her into our home. As it turned out, our circumstances changed and we wouldn't have been able to do that anyway. But rather than talk to US about it or give US a chance, y'all once again acted without any thought to anyone else and brought her up here. Even picked out a name "just in case" ... I guess bc y
    via u/imjustdifrent
  • 15
    S S Sorry you are taking this so personally. Sorry you can't take accountability for your actions I'm fully accountable. Sorry your not ready to take on the responsibility of parenting a puppy. Enough said. She's ours. OMG you're delusional. That was not the case AT ALL but me for thinking I could reason with a couple of drunks
    via u/imjustdifrent
  • 16
    awhellitjodibean 3d My mother's comment on a picture of me on a trip, I am ten pounds underweight SMS
    via u/awhellitjodibean
  • 17
    2:35 < N pic of me smiling at a restaurant They are eating a lot .LTE 8:06 PM ROS C
    via u/awhellitjodibean
  • 18
    My partner sent this picture of me eating at a restaurant with her last night to my mother as a little update (which she's been asking constantly for). I have always been underweight as a result of anxiety, poor appetite, and health nut parents. This is the best I've been eating in a LONG time (keep in mind the only food in the picture is a few pigs in a blanket and water).
    via u/awhellitjodibean
  • 19
    or saintcrimes 4d My mom's response to my dad's death SMS ...
    via u/saintcrimes
  • 20
    ●● 5:46 Susan Active 8 hours ago 5:05 PM ||| Qall 98%1 I just want to say im still upset about what you said in April, however, I need to fill out a bunch of papers for my dad and I need help. I dont know where he was born, or his parents names. I know Mamaw Donnie but I don't even know if I'm spelling it correctly TUE AT 7:37 PM Honestly I don't give a about your Terry dads full name problem....he was a scourge on this earth...and karma finally caught up with him...so you stay upset with me all
    via u/saintcrimes
  • 21
    Susan dont care about taking care of you. Have a nice life Susan. Thank you 8:03 AM Btw the day your Dad died was the happiest day of my life...he was the devil to me when we were married...he gave everyone on earth a bad time... ask all his wives...they are happy he's gone....don't really care what you think of me... My dad died and you told me....sorry your dad has cancer Susan...well touché...but I'm not sorry your dad is gone ....actually hearing your dad was dead made me smile
    via u/saintcrimes
  • 22
    ur-mother3000 6d my narc father SMS :
    via u/ur-mother3000
  • 23
    Feb 20, 2022 at 8:57 PM Whats up I'm in bed i just called to say that i did not forget seems like i'm a swear in not + birthday. i'm sure it sister. but i Feb 21, 2022 at 2:58 PM To be honest I don't think they care if you tell them happy birthday or not really Jun 11, 2022 at 5:53 AM anyways goodnight! Just thought you should know your pawpaw died yesterday at 2:00 afternoon hope all is well have a good day this is the last ill try and call Jun 11, 2022 at 9:38 AM oh okay Imfao i genuinely don'
    via u/ur-mother3000
  • 24
    on your part that you have no respect for any human besides yourself. i also don't appreciate how no one in that family told me the day it happened, or atleast had the common curtesy to not tell me at five in the morning. i will say however, that i hope and are doing well, considering. and i wish them the best. + Jun 14, 2022 at 3:20 PM You know what I want bother you anymore with anything at all you well never get a call or text from me ever again that is a promise. To answer your question abou
    via u/ur-mother3000
  • 25
    HA HA ? i know i'm always the first to apologize for every inconvenience we have. but it's genuinely so stupid that all we're capable of doing, is argue. i don't know if we can ever have a father-daughter relationship like when i was a kid, but i hope so. this text is me just trying to get past the negativity that we have against each other. i hope that we can get past it. Copy Translate More... A * O
    via u/ur-mother3000
  • 26
    Aug 14, 2022 at 2:25 PM here's the address for the waffle house Aug 14, 2022 at 9:42 PM are you coming tomorrow? Aug 15, 2022 at 7:27 AM ?
    via u/ur-mother3000
  • 27
    I'm sorry I missed breakfast very sorry if u can I'd like to reschedule at ur convenience Sunday or Monday. to tell you the truth I have the grils 100% of the time I'm trying my best to leve heather I can't stand her any more but I just don't want to let her take the grils I'm sorry i love all 3 of yall the same and I'm sorry urs and my relationship is not good I'd love just to hug you really I fell like I've felled you as a father I just go through alot of with heather I'm time bomb phiscley li
    via u/ur-mother3000
  • 28
    Oct 30, 2022 at 4:32 PM i wish you and i could get over all of our problems, i miss my sisters a lot. Oct 30, 2022 at 7:19 PM A love you I've made alot of worg chose in my life and I'm sorry I just feel like you don't think of me like u used to that's why I'm so distant but I love u i love you too. i don't think of you the way i used too. but there's been multiple opportunities for you to change that. i really hope you will in the future. i miss my sisters a lotttt
    via u/ur-mother3000
  • 29
    Mon, Jan 30 at 1:20 PM tell I don't appreciate what you did yesterday or this weekend at all until you get ur addtude right and quit being so jealous just stay home you no l thought you'd be more grown up about this I no I've missed alot in ur life but these 2 little girls depend on me I'm all they have if u can't get over that then idk what you did yesterday was un called for house you don't come in my and brake any gd thing of mine or there's if u don't want to be her then save time and don't
    via u/ur-mother3000
  • 30
    Sat, Nov 25 at 11:56 PM You know you really ain't nothing but a But I love you. I know you hate to hear that it. just goes all over you. I know it but sweat laugh cos you gotta live it Hey, I just figured it out. I called you and I called you. A shit energy both ways but I guess ten four + Text Message i feel sorry for you. OH
    via u/ur-mother3000

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